Dr. Michael Beckwith came forth with the statement, “Pain pushes until the vision pulls,” so that we might finally excavate the ways of being that no longer serve us and begin living into our greatest yet-to-be. Today, I’m writing about the pain of living with unworkability. One of the definitions of “unworkable” is something that cannot succeed, and when that unworkability is part of everyday life, so is pain.
For a long time, I was that someone living a life of unworkability. I stayed far too long in a marriage that was unworkable, mainly because I had two children and was terrified that I had nowhere else to go. I stayed far too long in a job that was unworkable. I was undervalued, underpaid, and often treated poorly, but I had two kids to support, so there was no way I could afford to quit. There was no vision (yet) to pull me out of the unworkability in my life. I endured this pain because I couldn’t imagine a greater possibility.
Proverbs 29:18 tells us, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” There’s far more to my story than we have the space for here. The pain kept pushing until the day came when I started thinking that my sons would be better off without me. I knew I had to make some serious changes, and the vision of a different life began to pull. I filed for divorce, secured a new and much better job, and began a regimen of radical self-care, which included finding a therapist who encouraged me to write down the pain.
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